I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
