Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
