You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
