I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
