I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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