no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
