the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
