It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
