1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Drunk is not a location!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
