went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
