glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
