I'm eating all of the evidence.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
