belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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