i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
