one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
