Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
