i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
