it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
