i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
