why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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