I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
