I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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