you traded sex for a burrito?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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