the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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