i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
