During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
NoShamevember. You game?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
