could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
