Don't you send me to vm
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
