i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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