He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
