ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
how drunk are you?
Several
Holy shit dude........stairs
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
