Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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