Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
