he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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