Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
