is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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