The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
