When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
