Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
