I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I skipped work to stalk him.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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