ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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