You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
