Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
