then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
