Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
operation have a gay friend backfired
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
