If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
