She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
