im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
