the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
