i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
