you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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