talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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